⭐ Just another Friday ⭐
Fridays are much positive days to the mind without saying. Like other Fridays this day was also special. I started my work with more energy to finish all my tasks and wind-up by noon, reminding myself that I’ll have the next two and half days of time to work on inner self. Executing everything as I wanted it to be just the way I planned in the morning meditation, it was easy as my mind had already witnessed it vicariously.
Commuting back to home in the noon, having the same energy to conquer the knowledge and learnings which I had planned for the next days, my brain muscles relaxed with buzzing music of chirping birds, gushing leaves, watching the clouds which also seemed having good Friday noon.
The minute I stepped in to the house, hearing to the pain of freedom my feet and body yearned for, I let them free — feeling much relaxed now. My gut craved for some small treat — I treated them with a bar of chocolate. And lastly obeying to the uncalled demand of my body to sleep for few minutes — got extended to two hours of deep sleep.
Waking up to know it is evening, just like other evenings husband made the strong brewed coffee just the way I love it. We sat down to sip on our rich and smooth cup of coffee, rejuvenating cells to do something worthwhile. Then departing from the dining hall, moving to the living area — he sat at distance and I sat on my normal spot on our couch. So relaxed and comfortable for getting this time for myself.
I picked on the book that I have been reading from two weeks.
My eyes got the sight of a tiny little sparrow which came in to pick on some grains in the balcony shelf. The view of bird, the thought of having the freedom to be what it is, took a complete stroll on my thoughts. Returning to the old emotions of anxiety, slowly imprisoned in my old thoughts and feelings:
Who am I? What is my purpose in this life? What is happening to me? Am I really doing the things right!
Why was I traumatised by that one person, Who took away my freedom of self expression completely.
Years of having anxiety issues for reason which was bound by an external entity in life, I still ponder my thoughts on it? Is it really needed!?
Why this! Why did I even get encroached to all this in first place!? Maybe, because I feared that all this would happen to me in life as that wise man told me, or maybe obeying to the principles helped me dodge from his grave.
“Dont play any sports you can’t study well, your grades will go low!”
“Dont participate in any kind of events people will judge your existence!”
“Dont go to marriages, only pimps go there to fix up a pair!”
“You don’t have a good fate! You will be judged if you talk to men!”
Inspite of realising these negative patterns of thoughts he imposed on me, he still makes me feel apologetic , while he carries a crown on stating he’s been great.
Nobody should traumatise a kid like I was, Stating how bad my life would be if I didn’t do as he said!
Watching shows or movies were never a part of my regime, why? — he said “it is waste of time.” I feared watching TV, or doing nothing which are not oriented to my goals. Making me so anxious about everything, zoning out to feel bad, having lower self esteem.
I really wonder how I was caged in life because of this one person who ruined my perspective about things. Does it really need to judge someone so harshly!? Nothing at all have had room in my life.
In the last two years I have watched some of the best movies which has taught me some good life lessons. There is nothing wrong I could figure in it and it took these many years to stop hating movies!
Ending all these thoughts, I closed my book, kept it aside. Moved out to the balcony, looking at the blue clear sky for a minute, took in a deep breath, closed my eyes, made my affirmations — that it was not the match between what I am and my future hence it is gone apart, feeling grateful for the people I meet everyday— they have certainly taught me many things in abundance, their positive gesture towards life, understanding how the nature around me would like to see my grown self like them.
I slowly moved into elevated state of joy, reaffirming that world is really not a bad place, it is not always filled with people who demoralise you. Many have their own principles in life, but I have got mine and it is retuned to the best of my knowledge, regaining my ability to connect with the greater universe.
I have had worked in environment where your constantly being judged for what you are. But, today I am thankful for having such kind and inspiring people, so calm and composed that it teaches me how anybody or somebody cannot hate you or cheat on you!
Today I am not suppressed but respected, considered and valued. The place, nature where I live in is dramatically influencing on what I am today — on a positive side.
After having a long enough of journey within, I felt better. Moved back to the hall where my Bunny was busy reading something in his small screen. Asked him what’s cooking for dinner!? He said, “let’s make some barbeque.”
Than I went into the kitchen, took the big bowl, added in all the spices as I wanted, blended it well to a thick consistency with more pinch of chilly powder cause I wanted it more spicy, added in the chicken pieces, tossed it well like how the soil absorbs all the rain drops, kept it aside for marination. Than picked three shades of paprika chopped them in large sizes, mushrooms and corn needed no chopping, and the veggies were ready now.
Husband started preparing for the grill — lighting the coals, alongside Alexa playing our favourite songs, we spoke about each other’s life happenings. Now the grill was ready to get barbecuing.
With a good TV show, we dined serving our favourite grilled meal. Enjoyed it thoroughly, forgetting all the thoughts I had, relieving my soul and body.
And I no more adhered to “do-list” for the night, enjoyed the evening with good Netflix show— Lupin. Captivated by the TV series and my Mr. , slowly I started dozing not gone deep enough into sleep that I still could hear the talks on the screen.
It was now time for my bed. My Friday ended there giving me a note to understand — Life is very simple, thoughts take a stroll more than what is happening in reality. Letting go off the thoughts is the only way I figured to stay in the present — keeping my energy flow intact to create something new in life and not lose it to the contemplation of the past or the predictable future. And again emphasizing “as my old reality that has fallen apart, my new reality begins to unfold, that unknown will never let me down.”
